Cleansing

I feel ill. Urgh. And I think it's because of all the stuff I have been eating.

I'll be going on a week-long fast which breaks on Thursday evening. A week before Easter :)

Sunday will be a complete fasting day for me. Water only.

Monday to Wednesday I will have breakfast only.

What I want to achieve:

1. A healthier body.
2. More time spent with God (as opposed to cooking or eating and snacking!).
3. Gaining discipline to not overindulge, to eat for sustenance rather than pleasure (food is pleasure for me, yum yum) and to show myself that I do have the self-control!

Will report back!

Sushi rants

I am at my desk at the moment, on my lunch break, yes yes don't be hating, I am not bumming at work trust me. It's a legitimate break where I have my "me time" unless the phone rings.
It's a Friday afternoon and seriously I am so HAPPY someone invented weekends. Oh my, if I had to work 7 days a week I do think I will go insane. Hmm OH WAIT I should be doing my food diary. Yes yes. Well here it is (so far)

Morning - slice of apple cake with strawberries and sunflower seeds that I baked on Wednesday (I really should get a camera if I am going to take this "document my life in a blog" thing seriously - I know, how 1990s - blogging is OLD, every Tom, Dick and Prince Harry has a blog can't you be a little more original, EZ?) The cake came out gorgeous, Ladies Man will propose in a heartbeat and declare his undying love for me if he got a whiff of it. Unfortunately he is still in LA at the moment and I can't exactly post slices of cake to him. It will get squished, or the dogs at customs and excise will tear it apart and wolf it down. I'm telling you, no one is able to resist my cakes. No one.

Half a glass of milk (I was rushing).

Mid morning muesli

Lunch - Sushi and a little bit of sesame noodles.
Ok here I definitely need to rant.
People - Hardened long grain rice wrapped with soggy seaweed does not a sushi make. Neither does smoked salmon. Neither does (gasp!) sweet chilli sauce from a bottle. I wasn't asking for much really, I wasn't expecting wasabi, just the regular soy sauce would do but no, the sushi was served with sweet chilli sauce. The sesame noodles was basically cold noodles tossed in sesame oil which got all over the hardened sushi and I DON'T KNOW WHY I KEEP BUYING SUSHI ON SUSHI DAYS WHEN I KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE THIS BAD EACH TIME! No wonder most people in the UK hate sushi - if I were subject to the sushi available in Tescos and Marks and Spencer's and Sainsbury's I would hate it too. I think P in the café has probably had enough of me nagging his attempts to serve East Asian cuisine. We love each other really - I nag him and he thinks I'm being overtly fussy and it kinda ends there. At least he makes mean English pub meals, and curries. And he knows how I like my cappucinno. And he's such a lovely guy, it just happens the sushi is crap.

Dinner - I don't know yet but it's firm drinks night so I expect a couple of drinks and canapes. I should really stay away from the canapes but ooooooh just one will do? I have no willpower...

Food Diary

Breakfast (350kcal)
Cereal, weetabix and milk

Mid-morning break (220kcal)
3 jumbo caramel rice cakes
Cappuccino

Lunch (500kcal)
Salad (cous-cous+potatoes+cucumber+egg+tomatoes)

Dinner (750kcal)
Chicken stew & Rice
Slice of bread with peanut butter & jelly
Handful of jelly beans

Total: 1820kcal

Exceeded my target kcal by 320kcal!

Yup I'm trying to only consume 1500kcal per day because I believe this is all I need in my sedentary life!

You weird schitzo...

Dear Government/NGO/XX Foundation,

Hi it's me. Remember? You gave me a scholarship before and I must say we were such a brilliant team don't you think so? No bond on your part and I worked hard and uh... brought your educational institutions to new heights *ahcoughem*. I gave you up to pursue my own dreams and career and well, I'm ready to go back to school and be an academic now! Show me the money! It was the perfect synergy, you pay me to study and I make you proud and prove to you that it paid off. Look at me, I am the epitome of success, almost. Well ok, I haven't qualified as a lawyer yet but I am in the right direction, trust me! I just need another year or so to uh... bum around whilst doing a graduate programme reflect and gain new experiences exploring greater depths of my field of study.

Lets do this! Boo yaah!

Best,

Elle Zhang
___________________________________________

Dear Potential employer

Don't listen to that deranged lunatic above who claims to be me. I can assure you I am READY for this grown up world of politics, business and corporate law. I can do this - I will be updating spreadsheets, manning my mobile/office phone, watching my Blackberry like a hawk, pinging off emails left right and centre, being completely diplomatic yet ruthless and most importantly, I am ready to be paid for the excellent work I promise I will produce. I will offer SOLUTIONS. I am ORGANISED, METICULOUS and plain AMAZING at networking. I am SMART and you won't regret taking me on your fine establishment.

Kind regards

Elle Zhang

Weakness

This is not how a Christian should feel or think, but...

I'm not strong enough, not thin enough, not funny enough, not smart enough, not high achieving enough, not rich enough, not organised, not athletic enough, not talented enough, not english enough, not witty enough, not quick enough, not educated enough.

Give it all you got

I was confiding with L today about how although I have managed to secure a really good job, I somehow feel that my heart is not there. I just wanted to pen down what she said to me because it just hits home.

God blessed me with my current job - He knew I prayed for it and He knew I needed the money. It's His provision for me, and as a Christian I must honour His gift to me by taking it seriously and doing my very best, joyfully, even if it is something transitional.

At the same time, God has also given me interests and passions for certain things in life and I should prayerfully consider what these are and then pursue them as a career.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for blessing me with my current job and I pray that in everything I give you praise and glorify you in the fruits of my labour. I pray that you guide and help me towards finding and pursuing my future career.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

Gross post - Proceed with Caution

You know you've been together too long when you are willing share your most embarrassing updates with your significant other

Elle Zhang: Baby, I have to tell you something.

LadiesMan: Yeah?

EZ: For the past few days, whenever I poop, I see blood on the TP. And I am not on my period.

LM: Ew, that's sick babe.

EZ: Do you think I need to get it checked out?

LM: Yeah, rectal bleeding is not a good sign, something's up - it might be an infection.

EZ: How do I get it rectified..? .... HAHAHA OMG DID YOU GET THAT?? I SAID RECTified!!! RECTUM? RECTIFIED? GEDDIT? HAHAHA I DIDN'T EVEN MEAN TO PUN OMG THAT WAS HILARIOUS.

LM: Yeah ok... go on WebMD ok? Then get it checked out.


I am slightly disappointed that my boyfriend does not share my sense of humour! On a serious note though, should I be worried? About the bleeding I mean, not Ladies' Man's inability to laugh at something as hilarious as the above.