Saturday, 1 March 2008

You weird schitzo...

Dear Government/NGO/XX Foundation,

Hi it's me. Remember? You gave me a scholarship before and I must say we were such a brilliant team don't you think so? No bond on your part and I worked hard and uh... brought your educational institutions to new heights *ahcoughem*. I gave you up to pursue my own dreams and career and well, I'm ready to go back to school and be an academic now! Show me the money! It was the perfect synergy, you pay me to study and I make you proud and prove to you that it paid off. Look at me, I am the epitome of success, almost. Well ok, I haven't qualified as a lawyer yet but I am in the right direction, trust me! I just need another year or so to uh... bum around whilst doing a graduate programme reflect and gain new experiences exploring greater depths of my field of study.

Lets do this! Boo yaah!


Elle Zhang

Dear Potential employer

Don't listen to that deranged lunatic above who claims to be me. I can assure you I am READY for this grown up world of politics, business and corporate law. I can do this - I will be updating spreadsheets, manning my mobile/office phone, watching my Blackberry like a hawk, pinging off emails left right and centre, being completely diplomatic yet ruthless and most importantly, I am ready to be paid for the excellent work I promise I will produce. I will offer SOLUTIONS. I am ORGANISED, METICULOUS and plain AMAZING at networking. I am SMART and you won't regret taking me on your fine establishment.

Kind regards

Elle Zhang

No comments: